i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
