i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
