Having a random hookup so left but love u
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
