It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
love makes seman taste better
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize