im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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