I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
