Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
