Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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