Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
