She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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