Nicole vs. Life
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
