so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
