Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize