Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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