Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This baby is an asshole
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
