Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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