That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
