I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
