so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
