Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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