called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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