please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
