i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
