My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You may now shotgun with the bride
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
