Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
