Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
