there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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