while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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