There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
