why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize