you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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