Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
