I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
