I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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