I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
