Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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