I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
