Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
