just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
