new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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