Yo dont text me then not text me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
