Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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