all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
