obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
