I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
