Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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