it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize