I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
