I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
