i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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