Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
