Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
