I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Boobs are out for the taking
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
