Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
