Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
