remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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