You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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