it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
