Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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