proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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