went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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